047: Jude Schweppe — How to Achieve Your Big Grand Goals
Life Purpose & Creativity Coach shares how to get unstuck and move forward with your big hairy audacious goals
Jude is a life purpose and creativity coach, writer, creative business owner, and a huge fan of a really good chat! She is passionate about helping people connect to their innate creativity and discover what it is they REALLY want to do with their 'one wild and precious life' - thank you, Mary Oliver, for the perfect quote!
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TRANSCRIPT
ep47-How to Achieve Your Big Grand Goals with Jude Schweppe
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[00:00:00] Voice Actor: Ann Coatney: Hi and welcome. The artful podcast is an interview show where you'll get to know the people behind the creative brands. We love these open casual and candid conversations will shed a light on what it's really like to reach your true potential with joy, fulfillment and freedom presented by artful and hosted by Gabe Ratliff, an award-winning artist, entrepreneur, and coach. Are you ready to create your artful life? If so, then tune in, turn up and listen hard.
[00:01:01] Gabe Ratliff: Jude Oh my gosh It is so great to have you here on the show I'm excited to be spinning this back up and to have you on this new season How are you My friend
[00:01:12] Jude Schweppe: I good I am really good I'm so delighted to be talking to you I'm delighted that it wasn't two days ago when literally my brain was melting with the heat in the UK so things have cooled down a little bit and I feel like I'm actually gonna be able to string a sentence together So delighted to be here Thank you for inviting me
[00:01:32] Gabe Ratliff : Oh gosh I've seen your posts how they keep talking about like the fans on fall blast and just
[00:01:38] Jude Schweppe: it was unreal It was just unreal And because I'm a redhead I suffer so much more than the average person in the heat Nobody understands this and my husband was like what's wrong with you I'm like I'm a redhead That's what's wrong with me as he was just breathing through the day at 40 degrees anyway enough of my red head Wass
[00:01:59] Gabe Ratliff : I have several friends that are gingers we call it the ginger my my mom is ginger and I have like hints of it I can see it in my hair and things like that but I I can't I can't claim it I'm just an ally
[00:02:14] Jude Schweppe: You're just an ally it's good to have them It's
[00:02:18] Gabe Ratliff : Yeah We're constantly I know when we've been at burning man in place like that where you're there's you have to create or find shade you know you're in the middle of the desert And so we're constantly talking about you some kind of cover some kind of uh shade over you having hats and make have you put sunscreen on just always checking in with these guys and girls it doesn't matter but especially the gingers we're always checking in Hey have you topped off
[00:02:47] Jude Schweppe: the thing Have you done the thing Have you done like the Yeah exactly Are you taking care of your ginger self Yeah
[00:02:56] Gabe Ratliff : uh it's all about the SPF What was the defining moment for you in your life that made you choose to be a coach for creatives How about that Where's the
[00:03:06] Jude Schweppe: oh okay that's a good place to start cuz I can probably reel it back a little bit
[00:03:13] What was the defining moment in your life that made you choose to be a coach for creatives?
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[00:03:13] Jude Schweppe: So my first love was always performance always I loved being on stage I loved dancing I loved the art of dance when I quit dance then I moved into theater and acting singing as well and I was just convinced that was my that was my path I was going to be on stage I was gonna be a performer and I didn't really plan for anything else I went to university and I got a degree and I spent most of my time in the theater the occasional stints in the library and then I went to drama school I moved from Dublin to the UK to go to drama And found my people and found my place and found that sense of home And I was like yes I've arrived this is all I've ever wanted to do and then about five years into my acting career I realized I'm not very good at being an actor I'm a very good actor but I'm not very good at being in this industry in this business And I think I'm probably not the first actor to have realized that And I certainly don't think I'll be the last and I think one of the one of the things that kind of differentiates performers who manage to go on and have very successful careers and those of us who kind of pivot shall we say in different directions is having the mental toolkit at your disposal So that you can continue to pick yourself up when things aren't going well when you've had the fifth rejection in a row the fifth you're not quite what we're looking for The fifth our leading man is only five six and you're too tall all of this stuff that is just completely out of your hands And I think also I realized I don't like other people telling me when I can't work You know what I mean I'm like I wanna be in charge I wanna be in charge of my own destiny and I just didn't have maybe the maturity like I say the the wellness toolkit to essentially stay in the game and I took a year what was supposed to be a year out and found myself working in advertising it just happened to be something that I was quite good at but pretty soon after that I realized this is not something I can do until I get my watch and my leaving party And I go off into my retirement sunset and I was just okay what can I do That's gonna allow me to be around my people and feel like I am using my creativity using my curiosity using the passion and the interest I have in other human beings and something that's gonna allow me to make some money to keep the lights And that's how I find myself drawn to coaching I think it was something that I've always done I've always been that person that people go to and say I've had an idea What are your thoughts I'm in a pickle What are your thoughts I dunno what to do next What are your thoughts And I am a problem solver I am somebody who likes to think outside the box as it were in terms of problem solving And I love love helping people Like I really do it's just such a buzz to feel like you've been on a journey with somebody or you've facilitated a huge moment for them or a huge aha moment or an insight So coaching seemed like a really good alternative to selling my soul in the advertising industry
[00:06:52] Gabe Ratliff : gosh
[00:06:53] Jude Schweppe: I know you know what I'm talking about
[00:06:55] Gabe Ratliff : oh sister
[00:06:57] Jude Schweppe: Yeah So I think the defining moment for me was I was working in an agency in London and I just reached like a literally a brick wall I reached a brick wall I was bored out of my mind I was walking up and down the stairs to the toilet to kill time Gabe like that's
[00:07:20] Gabe Ratliff : Oh I I know that one
[00:07:23] Jude Schweppe: how bad it was And I was sitting at a window desk looking out onto the river thas and looking at the people walking by and going they're free And I'm stuck in this office I've been to the Lou five times already this morning They're gonna think I've got a kidney infection or something If I don't stop going to the toilet And it was like if I just wash my hands really slowly then that will kill another another 30 seconds before I have to go and sit back down again And it was destroying me It was like eating away at my soul And I just realized I had been someone who had been in rehearsal rooms I'd worked in restaurants I was always on the move I was never pinned to one place and I just thought I can't be pinned to a desk for the rest of my life waiting for someone to give me a brief and then waiting for a client to come back and give me feedback on that brief and I just knew I couldn't do it anymore Could not do it anymore And in classic Jude fashion I just quit I had no plans Didn't know what I was gonna do I was doing a show at the time So I had got back into acting at that stage it wasn't paying the bills for me but at least it was keeping me sane And I just my my soul screamed you can't do this anymore or there's not gonna be anything of you left There's not gonna be anything of the real dude left So I handed in my notice on a whim worked out a month's notice and was like oh okay now I'm a freelancer no idea what I'm gonna do but I'll make it work and it was ridiculously there was no forethought behind it There was no planning behind it There was no I had no savings I had just finished doing a show and put a lot of money into that And it you it was also very courageous It was also one of the bravest things that I've done And I didn't look back So when we talk about defining moments I think it was my soul and the whispers of my soul defined that moment for me and just said this is not the life you're looking for You know what I mean This is not the life you're looking for Walk on
[00:09:34] Jude Schweppe: and walking until you find something that you can continue to do until you decide you just wanna go and into the sunset of retirement
[00:09:45] Gabe Ratliff : yeah I was just thinking I just started cracking up cause I was just like oh man It's it's just like Jedi moment
[00:09:51] Jude Schweppe: Complete Jedi
[00:09:52] Gabe Ratliff : is not the life that you're looking for
[00:09:55] Gabe Ratliff : Uh oh my gosh That's awesome Well yeah Thank you for sharing that I I I'm some somewhat familiar with your story cuz we've talked about it a little bit but like it's nice to just continue to UN unravel the
[00:10:15] Gabe Ratliff : where where you are how you got here and all that you know just continuing to just uncover uh who is Jude You know I was
[00:10:22] Jude Schweppe: The mystery
[00:10:25] Gabe Ratliff : I was gonna ask relative to that So how do you explain what you do as a coach to people or when you when you meet a a creative or an artist like how do you how do you language it What is it that you do
[00:10:38] How do you explain what you do as a coach?
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[00:10:38] Jude Schweppe: it's been one of those things that I've struggled to pin down And there were two different branches to the coaching that I do So the first working with creatives I think it's very simply where do you want to get to in your career What's the next level for you And I work with a lot of people who have maybe plateaued a little bit if they're actors they're getting a certain level of casting they're getting to meet with a certain caliber of casting director if they are in the music industry again it's they want the bigger gigs they want we wanna go from sweaty smokey club to the stadium and all of that has so little to do with talent and everything to do with all the things that we you know you and I talk about a lot Self-belief confidence Being so clear on what the dream is and working back from that to just what's the next step for me And I'm such a big believer in big dreams are achieved by humble steps and just focusing on what the next humble step is to get you to that to that next level
[00:11:45] Gabe Ratliff : Mm-hmm
[00:11:46] Jude Schweppe: The other work that I do which I truly love is working with people who have strayed from the creative path And I think this is probably the most fulfilling for me So they may have been really passionate about painting or singing or drawing or some creative endeavor when they were younger And then life happened an adulting happened and potentially becoming a parent happened And you it's funny you kind of life happens and you find yourself in this groove or the on walking this path and then you wake up and go how did I get here This was not what I put into the GPS this was never part of the plan And yet here I am And generally when people like that come to me there's such an emptiness that there's a real kind of sense that there's a huge part of the missing and they are going through the motions and they're adulting and doing the job And you're doing all of the things that we have to do just to stay afloat in this world in the way that it's been created but they're longing to reconnect to that joy like the simple joy of being creative And so oftentimes it's about Giving themselves permission again to identify as that person So I used to be a dancer I used to be a painter Oh it was something that I did when I was a kid when I was a teenager but it never leaves you when that's part of your DNA and part of who you are it never leaves you That is who you are if we're gonna break it down into your RGB that's one of them that's one of your three elements your three colors and so it's just about a helping people reidentify with that part of themselves and B helping them literally take a chisel to their day and carve out that time to be creative to do the thing because there is never any time there's never any time and there's always time That's what I say to my clients So it's about prioritizing and choosing how you want to spend that time And literally taking that metaphorical chisel and going this is gonna be 20 20 minutes When I sit with my paint box and I make some marks on the page and whatever comes out and I get into that meditative calming flow state that is such an antidote for that the hectic pace that we're living out at the moment that everybody's living at the moment so helping people reconnect to that side of themselves I think is one of the things that I love doing most in my work And just seeing the joy and the fulfillment and oh my gosh I'd completely forgotten what this feels like because you you do you forget muscle memory is a very powerful thing and it comes back very quickly obviously but just seeing people come alive again seeing the whole shift in their energy it's like going back into a beautiful relationship with a part of themselves that they'd completely forgotten about And I love being the facilitator of that the matchmaker getting you back to yourself back in relationship with yourself So does that explain what
[00:15:01] Gabe Ratliff : Absolutely Yeah I
[00:15:03] Jude Schweppe: it difficult to explain what I do sometimes
[00:15:05] Gabe Ratliff : oh I love it No I think that was great and I and I just was thinking of even with some clients I've talking to them and as we're talking about their craft they have these realizations like oh I totally forgot about that Even as they're still doing it even if it's not someone who's maybe shied away from it but like the things that are maybe not tied to the craft that maybe is where they do focus their most of their time to to pay rent and put food on the table They'll forget about the things either that that are opportunities for them in that space Or they'll forget about the things that fill their cup as I like to call it like what fills your cup Like for me I love cooking and baking I can just I can put music on I can Z out I'm sharing my love for my loved ones through creating a cool dish Um and it's a way for us to connect breaking bread together And it's a wonderful experience because it's not tied to my creativity that Puts food on the table unintended but it is something for me to fill my cup so that I can disconnect my brain and it lets the subconscious do its work
[00:16:33] Gabe Ratliff : and just feel joy doing something else but that is creative I love my partner's not she really likes recipes oh find a recipe and I'll go get the food to make whereas I look I'm the opposite I like to look and see what we have and go Ooh what can I do with this How can I tweak this how can I oh we need to eat this This is about to go bad Maybe like some produce or something I make a Moroccan lentil soup and it's a kitchen sink And it's just a fun one to just play with Cuz you can just go oh
[00:17:09] Gabe Ratliff : we ah we need to eat these couple things Okay cool And then all of a sudden it's changed the dish but it's the same dish that you've made before you know And it's just it's it just that gives your your brain that opportunity to just kind of check out with all the things that are weighing you down um or that that creative work you're doing that's stressing you out Um
[00:17:30] Jude Schweppe: Absolutely
[00:17:31] Gabe Ratliff : that that space from it
[00:17:33] Jude Schweppe: Yeah And even from a neuroscientific point of view we spend so much of our day being dominated like by our better better brainwaves and then Gama brainwaves And we don't give ourselves enough opportunity to just sink back down into alpha and just calm the nervous system and allow ourselves to recharge and recuperate And we're just go all the time And it's something I've been talking about a lot recently is just this sense that I have that we're we're just gonna spin out of control I think it's already happening we've got mental health crises we've got addiction crises We've got people are just really struggling right now and creativity is the one sort of sanctuary that you have in your day For me when I take 25 minutes in my day to be creative it's sanctuary it's allowing myself to go into that meditative state It's giving my brain a break It's giving that that part of my brain that's constantly thinking what's the next thing What's the problem I have to solve How do I organize the kids we're on some holidays what are we gonna it's just it's nonstop And then you wonder why you get to the end of the day And you're just all you're fit for is Netflix and just collapsing in the heap So it's for me creativity is such an important part of wellness And such an important part of taking care of ourselves mentally and spiritually and emotionally And just as you say filling up your cup And when I work I work occasionally with clients who don't necessarily identify as creative but they just wanna sort other areas of their life out of their life out And the one thing I'll say to them is do you give yourself time to get a sketch pad out Do you like painting Do you like playing with plaing with your children what whatever it is giving yourself that opportunity to just be calm to be in flow state with nobody expecting anything of you It doesn't matter what you create It doesn't matter if it's like your kids are looking at you going I could do better than that That's not The point the point is to just Zen out for a little while and I'm just such a big advocate of finding more time in your day in pockets in little pockets like every couple of hours to just find whatever it is you can find to do that gives you that break that gives you that mental break
[00:20:01] Gabe Ratliff : here
[00:20:01] Jude Schweppe: allows you to just be a human be a human and focus on what you need
[00:20:06] Gabe Ratliff : Oh here So I wanted to ask as we talk about the defining moments and the work that you do um the people that you serve I'm I'm also curious how this choice you know this this defining
[00:20:22] Gabe Ratliff : moment that occurred and you made this shift from the acting career and that direction that you were going as an artist how has that changed your life
[00:20:36] How has that choice changed your life?
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[00:20:36] Jude Schweppe: Oh my goodness I think it's only really in the last seven months that I have fully appreciated What it's done for me because look it's we're all on lifelong learning journeys right And so my learning journey really began in earnest about seven years ago and I was keeping up with my creative director work I various different contracts with different agencies and different companies And again I had another defining moment at the end of last year I just thought if I don't make this leap now and commit myself full time to this and really take another huge punt another huge chance and just decide I'm all in I had one foot in and one foot out and to a certain extent again it comes down to you've got responsibilities I've got two kids but it again I had another one of those moments where it was like if I don't do this now I'm never going to fully commit to what I've spent a lot of money and trained done a lot of hours training to do So the change in me over the last seven months is it's really hard to put into words And actually I wrote a post about it today on my LinkedIn it's been about peeling back so many layers of what I had gathered or accumulated over years that didn't feel like they sat well on who I am at my core And I I hesitate to use the word transformational in my work cuz I think it's bandied around in our industry quite a lot And people are promised transformation and just transformational coaches and transformational experiences And for me I don't think I've ever had one of Wow I've woken up the next day and gone I am a different person that has completely changed me for me It's very incremental And it's it's a daily practice and a daily commitment to growing and learning and evolving and changing and peeling back those layers But I think what I'm realizing having really launched myself into this and working with amazing clients and continuing to learn is that fundamentally don't need an awful lot in my life my my wants and needs and desires are very simple And it's really become apparent to me that I'm not interested in material things anymore I have enough stuff we have a beautiful home I have two gorgeous children for me The most important things are time Time to be present time to be time to sit in my garden and watch the bees we've had a heat wave here in the UK time to say you know what I'm going down to the beach and I'm gonna go for a swim And just realizing that all of the things that I thought I wanted for my life and all of the things that I thought I defined a success really Weren't what I was looking for at all What I was looking for was friendship connection facilitating discovery and moments of joy and fulfillment for other people And just time to just be in my life to be in my life and to appreciate this glorious experience of being alive with its ups and its downs and its heartbreak and its it is a brutal experience So what have I learned over the last seven months We don't need a lot of shit We don't need half as much of the shit that we think we need joy is in the simplest of things Creativity is all around us We are more creative than we can ever possibly know when we just give ourselves the time to explore it and the time to share it with other people and be in that kind of creative magic of working with different people who are on your wavelength yeah simplicity has been a key word for me slowing it right down and just being really present with what I have and amazing things happen when you start you stop seeking and you're just open to what might be you set your energy to being open to what might be and open to what might drop into the space and just stay open for the journey and the adventure
[00:25:06] Gabe Ratliff : I feel like that's been similarly for me over my journey the last few years because the to 2020 my partner and I had done all this work of minimizing our stuff and we were gonna travel and we did we rented our place We sold most of our stuff rented out our and got two months in before the pandemic hit And in that process I was already working my way towards this like you were talking about like the peeling away and the really getting down to who you are And this was like from the outside working in
[00:25:56] Jude Schweppe: yeah
[00:25:56] Gabe Ratliff : and in the doing of it and becoming a minimalist and realizing how we it's like if you have a house you fill it If you have an apartment you fill it If you have a car you fill it but it's like what are you filling it with what's in your proverbial backpack what of your life and how much of that especially in America It's just excessive portion sizes of food houses what we cars toys all the clothes all the things it's so much stuff but when you realize you're like how many pieces of clothes do I clothing Do I really enjoy wearing You know what Right Like that make me feel good Yeah that make me like how many pairs of jeans do I really love wearing it's I have two And like the shirts and the and is do you have the if you wanna get into it is it where you wanna be Is it the kind of you know does it having your garden right And having the things around that bring that joy and getting clear on that man it's just been it was like that like I said it was like this external process that then started to work within and we've had this time when we had to hunker down and stay safe to really go oh wait a second There's a whole universe inside me that
[00:27:24] Gabe Ratliff : I need to also uncover and pull back the layers on know and and start to get like you said get clear on who you are at your core I love that
[00:27:35] Gabe Ratliff : That's awesome That actually is a great segue cuz I was gonna ask now saying that about yourself How has this change that you've made in your life changed other people's lives like the lives of your clients
[00:27:48] How has that choice changed other people’s lives?
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[00:27:48] Jude Schweppe: Oh what's really interesting is that when you get really clear on who you are and you peel away the layers And you say pardon my French I'm gonna swear you say fuck it I'm just gonna be who I was when I came into this world who are we at our essence Because that doesn't change That doesn't change I don't believe the essence of who we are doesn't change And as I say it's all the it's all the layers and all the sort of shoulds and all the weights and all the conformity that kind of skews that And we lose sight of who it is of who we are But when you do that peeling away and you show up as And again this is gonna sound really cheesy as the most authentic person that you can be coming from a place of integrity coming from a place of heart coming from a place of truth You just attract the most incredible people to you I honestly believe your vibe attracts your tribe and the people that have been reaching out to me and wanting to work with me and signing up to my programs et cetera There's been some kind of like really deep heart connection that I've shared with all of them And we've had these moments where it's been like Oh my goodness you too And you've gone through this as well And this is I have to take my coaching hat off then and go okay this is not coaching but I just wanna share this experience And I want to say that I see you and I hear you And I've been where you've been So this process of shedding skin and Del layering and getting back down to the core of who you are it allows you to attract the most incredible human beings and have these just remarkable moments of connection with people who you totally get Even though you might have only had two sessions with them and you're sat and the I've got a client in Mexico at the moment I've got a client in Canada like there's thousands and thousands of miles between us and a zoom screen between us But we see each other for the human beings that we are And I think even 12 months ago I wouldn't have been able to have that kind of connection with these clients because It's I still hadn't quite got down to the very core of me and the very core of what it is that I want to do as I described today in my LinkedIn post my RGB and I feel like I'm there's something kind of bubbling about the process of the last sort of seven or eight months for me And when you start to bubble in the right way you attract similar bubbles and then you can all be in a fabulously bubbly pot together that's just okay dude now you're tripping But but it's but it's so true and even you and I getting to know each other over this crazy zone business for the last kind of 12 months it's because we had seen something in each other and talked each other's language and got each other's vibe
[00:31:03] Gabe Ratliff : Mm-hmm
[00:31:06] Jude Schweppe: that is such a gift that is such a gift for me is to just be able to have these moments with people and to know that you have made somebody think or made somebody think differently about themselves or differently about a situation that they felt really stuck with You've opened you've opened their mind to possibilities and opportunities and just ways that they weren't necessarily thinking just by asking them the right questions by tuning into your intuition listening to your heart listening to the energy what's vibrating between the two of you and just going you know what I'm gonna ask that question And I think 12 months ago There are a lot of questions I would've been afraid to ask because I didn't trust myself enough Whereas now I'm like I've thrown away so much that I didn't need in the last 12 months I've taken such a punt and such a risk on building this business and building this practice which is which is paying off that I'm gonna ask the questions I'm gonna ask those questions and trust That's a reason that the question came to what's the impact it has on my clients I would hope it is giving them the confidence to trust themselves to trust their own hearts and intuition just go for it just fucking go for it because we've got one shot at this We've got one shot at this It's not a dress rehearsal It's not we don't get a do over So launch yourself into it make mistakes fail get messy Experience chaos just and just trust that you can work your way through it because I don't know any other way to do it I really don't know any other way to do it I've the beautiful glorious chaotic mess is how I've rolled for a lot of my life but it has allowed me to connect with the most incredible human beings and have the most incredible moments that I that are literally tattooed into my memory
[00:33:15] Gabe Ratliff : Mm
[00:33:15] Jude Schweppe: I hope I never forget those moments
[00:33:17] Gabe Ratliff : Oh here Oh man They're so amazing Have it seeing a human and a fellow artist creative soul who I I believe everybody's creative I'm there with BNE brown and Elizabeth Gilbert and all these people that talk about how we're all creative we just don't necessarily tap into it And Or Or have let it slip right Or let it shy We've shied away from it or we don't wanna give ourselves that space or permission to do it or we don't have the time quote unquote even though there's all the time right It's just where do you put your priorities and but just yeah like just seeing those moments where it that hit
[00:34:05] Jude Schweppe: the hit Yeah
[00:34:07] Gabe Ratliff : that the oh my gosh
[00:34:10] Gabe Ratliff : you know for decades they might it might have been decades that they didn't have the understand this thing or ne you know never in their whole life Um and to finally like get it and and start to give themself that permission to own that ideal Oh
[00:34:30] Jude Schweppe: Yeah to take the cork off take the cork off take the reins off take whatever it is off that's been holding you back or pinning you to a war or let's go back to the star wars analogy in a choke hold there's so many things that that you don't even realize have you in a chokehold and U until You're not choked anymore And then it's oh my God have I been walking around for 40 years with with some invisible force around my neck almost keeping me smaller than I want to be keeping me quieter than I want to be not allow not allowing me to just take a bucket a paint and throw it at the wall and go let's see what happens next So there's it's like a beautiful metaphor for your life Take a bucket of paint on the wall of your life throw it all over the splash paint out and just see what you create when you give your yourself that permission to go outside of the lines and not focus on the detail so much and just make it an abstract beautiful gorgeous thing that makes no
[00:35:39] Gabe Ratliff : no sense
[00:35:40] Jude Schweppe: else you
[00:35:44] Gabe Ratliff : Uh
[00:35:45] Jude Schweppe: you know exactly what it is
[00:35:48] Gabe Ratliff : that was very important for you to listen to right now kids very important Me included yeah cuz you know that's one of the things I came up with this quote I've talked about it before on the show but I came up with this quote back in college about draw your life Don't trace it
[00:36:05] Jude Schweppe: Yes
[00:36:06] Gabe Ratliff : And it took me so long to realize that I was doing the exact opposite Like I was in this You get into these This box and you and you know I was like this I'm outta I think out of the box and blah blah blah and all these things that you know and I didn't proclaim this I just this is what I thought about myself and I like yourself like we do think out of the box creative people do think out of the box and others have said that about me But I realized when I really got honest with myself that I wasn't letting myself just cut loose and be free throwing the paint on the
[00:36:43] Gabe Ratliff : wall as you as to your point And just getting like finger painting hand painting right Like get dirty and just experiment And it's so interesting because we it it's even when you talk about something like this like a podcast right Like you get into this cadence of I gotta stay consistent and am I gonna be weekly or whatever we talked about before the show And there's been some anxiety since I stopped To care for my dad to because I had to then get back to this place of okay I'm ready to start doing this again And you were of course one of the first people I was like oh I wanna have this conversation I want her to be in this season cuz Jude's amazing And this will be a lovely conversation cuz it always is And it's also part of our conversation right it's part of what we're talking about Like even this like what we're doing and like how we show up on social media and our work as coaches and just as humans with our partners as a parent right Like how we show up period with they're all choices And they're also opportunities to create options to have more choices People it's you feel like oh I'm so Trapp I only have this one choice and it's that's part of what I I think we both do in our work is really help shine a light on this whole world this universe of options If you give yourself that space right if you it's if you look at the universe is this it's a multiverse It's not one right It's there's a multiverse out there It can be all kinds of stuff that you can't even imagine And as they start to UN as like clients start to unpack who they are where they really are where they are where they want to be If you clear all of this muck we have in in front of the like
[00:38:43] Gabe Ratliff: that's
[00:38:43] Gabe Ratliff: in the way then it's like oh man the GPS can go to the stars
[00:38:50] Jude Schweppe: Yeah
[00:38:51] Gabe Ratliff: because it's not like oh I've gotta go this way And it's gotta be this scheduled Perfect planned I mean if we learned anything last few years you can plan as much as you want
[00:39:02] Jude Schweppe: Yeah If you wanna make God laugh tell him your plans a hundred percent I think one of one of the most powerful things about coaching and whether you are coaching with creatives whether you're coaching people who've just been divorced there are so many different niches that people have but it is a alerting people and bringing people along to the concept that we always have choices always no matter how stuck we feel and I think that's one of the it's one of the hardest things to to see in a client when they start working with Is that sense of being completely stuck I'm out of options I don't know which way to go it really start when you start sinking in the quick sand right You start sinking in that mud it's like pulling you down and you're struggling The harder you struggle the more stuck you become And really powerful coaching is about first of all stop struggling stop struggling Cause it's just gonna suck you further into the muck and get to that kind of calm space And just because they always have the answers right that's one of the beautiful things about coaching is we never have the answers and it's never about telling you what your options are It's about creating that space and facilitating that that sort of thinking process whereby they Oh my God I never thought of that Of course I could do that that's totally available to me That is absolutely an option And honestly I think everybody on the planet should have a coach I do I think we could change the world If everybody was was given the opportunity to just spend time with somebody who listens deeply to them with sees who sees them who understands who they are where they are and where they want to be and has the skill to ask those questions that just can go boom that's it and every time I have one of those sessions and somebody goes I haven't thought about that for 20 years or I literally had no idea where I was going why I was going were so many options available to me or there were no options available to me And now suddenly I see like a whole kaleidoscope of possibilities and I really do think that We could do so much good if everybody had the opportunity to have this experience even for a few months and to train them to think differently and to to train them to think about what is possible as opposed to what is in my way
[00:41:49] Gabe Ratliff: That was making me think of the when you're talking about the mud whenever I think of that or share that visual with someone that's in that space or whenever I've been in it I think about the scene from never ending
[00:41:59] Gabe Ratliff: story
[00:41:59] Jude Schweppe: Yes Oh my gosh That's exactly what I was thinking of Yeah
[00:42:03] Gabe Ratliff: Trey Yeah And like our tax is like just following into the mud and like is on its way and all this stuff you know And it's just such a just it's it's I think just a perfect embodiment of what that feels like to to be in that space
[00:42:22] Jude Schweppe: it is a very visceral feeling as well to just feel like cuz I've been there it's one of the reasons that I was so curious to find out more about what this coaching business was and it's terrifying It's completely and utterly terrifying to just feel like this is it This is it This is as far as I go And it's a gift it's a true gift And I think to repeat the more people who get access to that gift I think the better the world is gonna be
[00:42:53] Gabe Ratliff: Oh here Oh I wanted to ask if you had one thing to say to artists or creatives or or even you know someone who might not prescribe to be a creative person like you were talking about that you work with what is like a problem
[00:43:16] Gabe Ratliff: or I guess what I wanna say
[00:43:17] Gabe Ratliff: is like what's the what's the the the one thing that they could do today that you would recommend for them to do today to like make a change or to you know to to to to maybe get maybe make a shift in their mindset or to snap out of it to get unstuck Is there one thing that you could uh that you would recommend
[00:43:41] What’s the most important thing creatives should do today?
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[00:43:41] Jude Schweppe: So there's two things I would recommend And the first thing is get to know yourself intimately get to know your operating system inside out because every single person has a completely unique operating system And there's no blueprint that you can follow That somebody else has given to you That's gonna work for you until you completely understand how do I operate What am I what are I sabotaging thoughts How can I choose to have thoughts that are more supportive Where have these sabotaging sabotaging thoughts come from I think it's been one of the most powerful things that I've done is to understand my operating system and forgive myself for it that because there was so much so much disappointment that I didn't do The things that I set out to do or life took me in a different direction I was so hard on myself for things unfolding in a different way but the more I've got to understand my operating system what I need to have in place in order to function at my optimal how to take care of myself how to take care of my mental health understand what you need to have in place Give yourself a break Forgive yourself for the things that haven't worked out the way that you hoped they would and learn from everything and then what when you start to understand what works for you rinse and repeat rinse and repeat and understand this is what I need to have in place in order to move in the direction that I want to move in And the second thing I would say is humble Step that's all it needs to be is the first humble step oftentimes I start working with clients and they wanna make an album or they wanna write a book or they want to a there's a big grand goal They wanna have an exhibition it feels completely overwhelming to them And they've just I don't know where to start and it's too much and I don't have the time And all of these kind of excuses that our saboteurs will give us So I always say to somebody you don't need to write a book You need to open your laptop That's it You need to open your laptop open up a word document And type a sentence And then you just repeat that until you've written a hundred thousand sentences whatever the word count is gonna be You don't need to record an album You just need to investigate what studio you'd like to get into and just break it down into the humbleness step because otherwise your brain will just go no way We're not doing that because it's designed to keep us small and safe because out there be monsters
[00:46:26] Gabe Ratliff: yeah
[00:46:27] Jude Schweppe: and none of us want to go out there where the monsters are We would we just wanna stay plotting along heart wants one thing Brain wants another So think about what is the humbles simplest most manageable step that I could take And I get this from Julia Cameron who wrote the artist's way and she says the way to overcome fear is to take action And the way to take action is to make the action small enough and humble enough that you're willing to take it And I've applied that to every single terrifying scary thing that I've done I've just taken the first step the first humble action And the next thing you know you've completely changed your life you've you know you've you've completely said goodbye to a career that wasn't serving you And you're now doing what you've been dreaming about doing for the last seven years So I 100% believe that what if you can dream something you can achieve it You're not given the dream without the tools And it just starts with taking that first step and getting that momentum going And then the universe goes oh okay this is the direction they're going in now Now I know how to support this person I know the people to send them now I know that the opportunities to put their way and the synchronicity start appearing And I used to be quite skeptical about this but I've seen it happen again and again Humble step synchronicities opportunities things start to change So that was two pieces of advice that I've probably slightly over egged again But it's where I start with everybody operating system Humble step
[00:48:04] Gabe Ratliff: So many nuggets in there So I have this question that I've been thinking about and I and I I really wanna kind of see where you stand on it Um I've been kind of going back and forth about which one I wanted to ask And and I I think this one it just seems interesting to me If you had a magic wand and could change anything related to creatives or the creative industry what would that be
[00:48:26] If you had a magic wand and could change anything related to creatives or the creative industry what would it be?
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[00:48:26] Jude Schweppe: Oh my goodness A magic wand Oh I know what it would be confidence 100% The most talented people that I have ever met are often the people who lack the confidence And don't have that self belief and are crippled with imposter syndrome and crippled with self doubt and it's such a shame And I remember somebody saying this to me years ago the most talented actor of our generation we've probably never met them We've probably never seen them on screen We've probably never seen them on stage because they were crippled with self doubt And it goes back to that idea again of talent is one thing there are so many other elements that need to go into your toolkit in order to make it as in the creative industries in the entertainment industry in particular So I would wave a magic wand so that everybody that was with talent and had the most incredible beautiful amazing things to share with the world would step out there and claim their stage and own it and just know that this is what they were meant to be doing And we would all be the richer for it everybody would be sharing what they were put on this planet to do essentially So that's it My confidence magic wand
[00:49:49] Gabe Ratliff: Oof man I hear that one I do like morning ritual that a colleague shared with me where I'll do an affirmation I there's this really great affirmation app I found that's on the iPhone and it's just been so helpful to have just a nice little bit of like external an external affirmation just every day is a new one And and it'll just pop in and I won't know what to expect and it's a nice little and you actually hold down the button and it'll appear So it's of neat It has this nice little experience to it So it's like this affirmation comes to life and I'm always excited for that little moment of oh what's it gonna be And then I'll actually write that down And then it's a few questions of like how do I wanna show up today How do I which I love that one about how do you feel Cause it's really helping to get clear about how I feel as opposed to what I'm thinking about What's in my head how do I feel
[00:50:48] Gabe Ratliff: how do how are those different and what's the one thing I wanna accomplish for the day And it's just such a wonderful little like super quick thing to do And I've been practicing it for a while now but I just love that because it helps to get into this place And I find that what often comes up is that the when it then the to the question that asks how do I wanna show up today I generally will repeat the same thing of I wanna be calm confident committ committed
[00:51:21] Gabe Ratliff: right
[00:51:22] Gabe Ratliff: To serving others and I wrote that this morning about this recording this podcast serving you and serving the listeners And asking questions that can help them and uh help share who you are
[00:51:37] Gabe Ratliff: Right And like just that kind of a thing And that creates confidence Right Cuz you're you're manifesting it in the writing that out and saying like this is what this is how I wanna show up And so I thought I would share that for my my myself because how I'm practicing that same aspect You it's like our own magic wand
[00:51:55] Jude Schweppe: Yeah And it's a muscle confidence is such a muscle and one of the things that I do with clients that it's such a fun creative process aside from anything else is that I get them to create what I call their book of evidence So when somebody says to me they there's a director that they really wanna meet There is a meeting that they really wanna get in the diary with somebody who's maybe a grade above where they're currently working So I say let's get the book of evidence out and everything That proves to you that you are ready for this next step goes into the book of evidence And when you're having a day where the saboteurs are really loud and it's who do you think you are And this is a terrible idea and you're not good enough And all of those things all of those horrible things that those sabotaging voices say to us regularly going back to your book of evidence is doing reps down the confidence Jim and it's a daily commitment to staying in that zone of confidence of clarity of knowing what you want of bravery there's that the beautiful quote we get courage by ING We've just gotta keep doing it you've got to keep being courageous You've got to keep being confident and bringing it into your body remembering what it feels like when you are Yeah the book of evidence is something that I encourage everybody to start keeping and remind yourself of why you are worthy why you do deserve this why you absolutely should have that meeting why that casting director absolutely wants to see you or that promoter needs to hear from you and I think it's it's something that of my clients then take forward and I'll check in with them in 12 months time and see how they're doing And they're like my book of evidence is looking pretty good at the moment dude And it's just something that you can take forward and continue to add to even if you're not working in the creative industries
[00:53:57] Gabe Ratliff: Yeah
[00:53:57] Jude Schweppe: the book of evidence of I am a a wonderful worthwhile beautiful human
[00:54:02] Gabe Ratliff: Yes I was just sharing that an idea with my partner recently and I like to share it with clients as well about having a an inspiration similar like a book of what you call a book evidence but an inspiration folder And I have it I have one myself in my notes app and then I also have one in my email and I was talking to my wife the other day about it's so great when you she had shared this wonderful like essentially a testimonial she got from a VP And I was like and it was really well written It was a really well written recommendation or referral or testimonial or whatnot whatever you wanna call it But I was like wow that was really thought out babe that do you keep those kinds of things And she was like what do you mean And I was like do you have a folder of like keeping kind of inspirational it's an external reminder of others reflecting back how they see you Right It's not just how you feel about yourself but it's like how others also see you And I think that's also really helpful right Because you can take those And if you're having a just a shitty day I love to go to something like that And to invite others to do that when I'm talking to them Hey have an area like your book of evidence right that's have a space that can you can go back and see oh I forgot This is how other people see how I show up
[00:55:36] Jude Schweppe: Yeah
[00:55:36] Gabe Ratliff: how they that's what they feel for me and how I've supported them or helped them achieve something or what it whatever it might be And and it really is man It's really helpful to just take those and and do
[00:55:50] Gabe Ratliff: something intentional with them Right And you were as we talked about at the top of the show it's chaos life is so it's just moving
[00:55:58] Gabe Ratliff: fast but if you take that little extra second if you already have the folder and you can just slide it over and then when you have the bad day and you have that little
[00:56:08] Gabe Ratliff: moment of like oh I've got that folder
[00:56:10] Jude Schweppe: Exactly I've got my book of evidence and I'm going into an audition I'm going to see a direct a casting director I'm gonna see somebody who could potentially green light my movie Go back to your book of evidence because the energy that you will get from your book of evidence that little dopamine hit that reminder I can do this stuff I'm really fucking good at this Take that energy into the meeting And I know from being on the other side of the casting desk when I was casting shows when somebody walks into the room and they just own it and you're just like please be as good as your energy is suggesting you might be please have the acting chops to go with this and similarly if people have walked into the room they've been beautiful actors but there's been something missing It's just ah I don't know I don't know energy is everything And giving ourselves that little five minutes before we go into a terrifying situation to remind ourselves of how good we are if I'm if I'm having a discovery call with a new client and I'm feeling a bit anxious about it sometimes I'll just go back to my testimonials page and just read through all my testimonials and
[00:57:25] Jude Schweppe: remind
[00:57:25] Gabe Ratliff: Yeah
[00:57:25] Jude Schweppe: yeah you're quite good at this dude It's fine You're gonna be fine but we all need to do that we all need to do that to remind ourselves that we deserve it We absolutely deserve it
[00:57:35] Gabe Ratliff: Mm awesome So I wanna as we wind down now I wanted to ask you uh a a fun question Tell us something that we don't know about you that you
[00:57:47] Gabe Ratliff: might think is interesting or
[00:57:49] Tell us something we don’t know about you.
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[00:57:49] Jude Schweppe: Oh my goodness anybody whose Irish will laugh at this right Because it's such a small country and anytime you meet an American they're like oh do you know So and so from cork And you're like no because there's more than a hundred people in the country but this is quite funny This one time back in the day I met this guy and we were at a club and had a great time We ended up dating and it turned out that he was my cousin
[00:58:28] Jude Schweppe: Literally turned out He was my cousin not a first cousin but his dad no his mom and my dad were first cousins And like the conversation that we had that led to us discovering this was like oh my God this is the most Irish thing that's ever happened of all the people in the whole city that I could have taken a shine to And the really funny thing was after I discovered it that we were of related I was like I knew you reminded me of my dad that'll be why
[00:59:05] Gabe Ratliff: oh my gosh
[00:59:06] Jude Schweppe: a funny random very Irish fact for you
[00:59:09] Gabe Ratliff: Uh I love it So Jude uh final question Where can people find you
[00:59:14] Gabe Ratliff: online if they wanna engage
[00:59:16] Where can people find you online?
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[00:59:16] Jude Schweppe: Oh do you know what come and find me on LinkedIn That's where I show up most frequently I've tried a few of the other social media platforms and it's just not my vibe So you can find me on LinkedIn and you can find out more about me on my website which is what happens next.com but yeah find me on LinkedIn let's connect and I'd love to get to know as many new people as possible
[00:59:39] Gabe Ratliff: Yay Ah Thank you so much for being on the show has been an absolute delight as always And Ugh I just thank you so much for all that you had to share and for all the work that you do love it
[00:59:52] Jude Schweppe: No problem whatsoever Thank you for having me and I look forward to the next one more to talk about.
[00:59:57] Voice Actor: Ann Coatney: Well, that's it for this episode, whether this is your first time listening or you're already a fan. Thanks for being here. We hope you enjoyed the show. All links and show notes for this episode can be found at the artful dot co. If you haven't yet, please subscribe to the show and leave a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks again for listening until next time. Keep being artful!
